On being a shy extrovert

Well, you know how some nights you can’t convince your fiance to go out with you, so you  decide to put on your big girl panties and go meet friends by yourself, but then you end up on the phone with the police because you don’t have your ID or any money and you have to go home to an empty house without seeing said friends whereupon you stay up till 2:30 doing P90X and watching YouTube videos wandering what happened to your life?

Oh, good. I’m not the only one.

Here’s the basic problem:

I am an extrovert who spends a large part of my day alone.

While David is an introvert who spends all day with people.

So when I get home all I want to do is see All The People. As in, when we were in Uruguay, we visited this hospital where the common practice is stuff the elevator continuously until it becomes so heavy that the elevator refuses to move. Then the person most outside the door gets kicked off. Yeah, that sounds nice.

David on the other hand, would be more than happy to shut the door and pretend that there is not another living soul on the planet.

But Becca, you might say, Why don’t you go out and David can stay in and then you’d both be happy?

Well because a) don’t wanna and b) I’m scared. Of what? I don’t know, uhm, nice people?

Well, that’s stupid.

Yeah, well the chief complaint about anxiety isn’t that it causes a clear and straight forward analysis of cause and effect.

But then I found myself sitting at a stop light, trying to decide which way to go and I thought: this is the thing you do that you always wish you could go back later and change. There are people that you want to hang out with, who also want to hang out with you. Now stop being an idiot, march yourself over to the Dixie Chicken, buy a drink, and have friends.

Turning left. Done. Check.

Except no. Because my wallet decided it wanted to stay-in for the evening, too. Meaning that I had no ID, and also no money to pay the exit fee at the gate of the parking garage.

And when you call the 24 hour help number you get the College Station Police Department. So I got to explain my predicament to an officer who was both very nice, and utterly exasperated. I mean, I can’t imagine what an officer would have to do on a Thursday night besides explain to me how parking garages work.

But I found someone to let me out, and I’m sure I will have many more opportunities to meet some friends for a drink.

And sometimes maybe it’s enough to do the thing that kind of scares you, even if it’s a small thing. And even if it doesn’t work exactly.

source as best I can figure.


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