Guys, I had my first oh my gosh everything went wrong wedding dream last night. Apparently those are a thing.
It’s first week of school dreams all over again.
Except instead of being naked, I forgot to get my dress fitted so it’s 3 sizes too big and 3 sizes too small simultaneously. Which, if you’ve ever shopped for women’s formal wear, you will know is totally possible.And instead of forgetting homework impossibly assigned for the first day, I never got around to ordering cake or flowers (the horror).
At least I wasn’t late, unlike all my school dreams. I guess my subconscious gives me enough credit to assume I’ll at least make it to my own wedding on time. The worst part was that the photographers never showed up*. Neither did any of the groomsmen, except David’s brother. (It should be noted that all of the bridesmaids were there, so interrupt what you will from that.) The weird thing is that I was totally calm. Seriously. I was just like whatever, we’re still married. It’s all good. Even when I suddenly remembered that I never requested time off from work, so we only had like two days for our honeymoon. If I remember correctly, that’s when David finally got mad at me for forgetting everything in the world. Haha. But then, days later and right before I woke up, I found the absentee photographers. And I just lost it. I started crying, which is somehow impossible to do properly in a dream. Dream crying is totally unsatisfying, like running or yelling. But I just kept cry-saying “I just don’t understand why you didn’t come. You promised you would be there, and you didn’t come.” To which they acquiesced, “If you can find all your bridesmaids, we’ll take a picture of you.” And I fake-sobbed, “It’s not the same.” Duh. Then the sweet sounds of Amos Lee’s Baby, I want you ended my tirade and woke me just long enough to decide I was not actually going to run at 5:15 am. But there you have it. Betrayed by my memory and my photographers. . . *Of all the things I’m worried about, the photographers are not one. I mean they have a retro travel poster featuring the Hogwarts Express on their living room wall. Seriously awesome. I’m fairly certain they won’t pull a Ferris Bueller on my wedding day.